In The Kryptonite Effect, I looked at how relational dysfunctional can produce a family identity that is at odds with our true identity. In The Kryptonite Source, I pointed to the Fall as the root cause of sin’s destructive assault on relationships.
But what’s the solution?
Of course, having strong, deep, healthy, mutually edifying relationships with everyone on Planet Family is our ideal. Some of us may enjoy something approaching our ideal. But for most of us, Ideals-ville is a long way off from For-Reals-ville where we live.
So, if family baggage packed with Kryptonite prevents us from enjoying the authentic and intimate relationships we desire with members of our family of origin, what can we do?
It’s not an option to adopt their alternate identity in order to be received. And it might be fruitless to try to persuade our families that we are someone other than who they “see.” It could be best to adjust our expectations, set some healthy boundaries, and limit our interaction.
The good news is that Jesus Christ creates family. Through Jesus, we can find friends in other believers who will stick closer to us than a brother or sister. That’s been my experience. And I hope that my family members find what I have found—healing and encouragement through a new family in Christ.
But what about my kids? My home is their Krypton, and, at last count, there are eight Kryptonians populating this planet. I know I’ve wounded them. I can’t undo what I’ve done. But I can love them and lead them out of my brokenness—admitting failures, confessing wrongs, and offering myself to God as an agent of their healing.
And should my children confront me with a father-inflicted wound, I can own my wrong and seek their forgiveness.
What’s your solution?