In my last post (The Kryptonite Effect) I explained how I feel least like myself when interacting with members of my family of origin. I described “Planet Family” as a closed relational system, resistant to change, in which I am only recognized according to an assigned identity that was formed and fixed on “Krypton.”
But what is the source of the Kryptonite effect?
Sin’s damaging consequences go careening down through generations, and through family communities–injuring, hurting, wounding,–even as the enemy is seizing every opportunity to whisper lying interpretations of painful events.
Midlife is the time when most of us are confronted with symptoms of heart trouble. Our coping mechanisms start to break down. Like engine warning lights on the dashboard, these symptoms alert us that some things are wrong in the deep places of our hearts. They need to be addressed.
If you’re like me you’ll be overwhelmed by the sheer number of issues that present: “Alright, one at a time, please. Form a line, single file.”
If we seek help from any pastor, counselor, or therapist, they will immediately start poking around our formative history on Planet Family. The sin, the hurt, the wounding, the hiding, the coping—it all started way back there. If we are to heal, we must revisit the pain of our original wounding.
A friend joked that, instead of a college fund for his kids, he started a counseling fund. They’re going to need it. Now that’s funny—in a sad way.
Because of the fall, every family is relationally dysfunctional. And a family’s signature dysfunction is its own “normal” way of relating. We become so accustomed to relating according to the invisible laws of Krypton, it can be hard to see each other through the atmospheric haze.
Know what I mean?